Why Earth is Called Earth –Because earth is from shit

Today I came across my best buddy online and we were letting out our frustration in life. We came to whine every single thing we found doesn’t seem right to our mind. As usual when you were not on the right sane of mind, the communication maneuvered to something imaginary to color our thoughts. It pleased us, and we had good laugh. I was thinking to share this idea which this comes aligned with how harmonize thoughts can be when anger, wrath, disappointment and frustration built within people. Where for once, put aside human level of sanity and just imagine.

He has this theory, why the earth now we are living is called earth due to it was contaminated with shit; or in formal way we call this as feces-a waste product that expelled during anus during defecation. Thought the matter of fact as for now scientists had proven and observed that earth was part of Big Bang result- where the universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition at some finite time in the past, and continues to expand to this day. Some believers will say earth is created by God within seven days and six nights. But for us earth is this imaginary we had.

Since this was just a crappy thought, why don’t we take it as the rest of the believers, that God does exist? The theory behind it was that there was once God was flying by our universe. I know your brain will start to program how God looks like when He flies even though in some religion, the deviation of the God and the prophets are totally prohibited, let us do not stop this imagination. While He was flying, he suddenly felt unbearable stomach ache. And universe there isn’t any public places for keeping waste.

And so He needed to defecate or layman’s term he needed to SHIT. He did shit on us. He shat so badly for seven days on us and that how earth now has all these shitty creatures called Homo sapiens. Better way we are now known as Modern Man, but remember where we came from. This is way far diverted from mankind was from Adam and Eve- but the story my buddy told me got even more interesting.

Because of seven days God shat on us, He had fertilized the earth tremendously. Fungus and algae grow in every corner of our earth, with some help of wind which came from God’s flatulent (duh..FART) and water He pissed on us. Now earth is called earth resulted after He did his business to one of his planets which for Him just some toys wandering around the universe which whole load of huge amusement park.

Now God left us already. This earth contaminated and virus spread around. We called it Jesus where else Buddha is bacteria that infected us the Homo sapiens. During that time we are not as now with two hands and two legs –proper modern man limbs. We were a sort of paramecium or plankton as whichever species you prefer, as humans at that time were considered lemmings. These assholes come with the rest Mohamed, Moses, Vaah-e-guru, Vishnu, Krishna, Karl Max, Vladimir Lenin and Kuomintang—virus and bacteria that spread around the earth to cultivate the humans’ thoughts. They had messed us up, infected us with self righteousness, and brainless democracy while the other lefties formed communism.

Now as the result now, these piles of shit which is us are divided. Whether how we this story connects to now, but reflect, we are now divided. In the same country continents or group of people we fight among each other, we condemned and we back stab. Not to forget we care and we love but to which extend. Clap your chest and ask yourself, we are that shitty we will kill in order to survive. The idea given by these bastards that killing is a sin else it would not be a huge matter as for now.

Since we were paramecium or planktons that have been mutated and infected by the disease caused by God, now we have many funny people trying branded themselves but brainless. Corporate yuppies—Donald trump syndromes, Ah Lians and Ah Beng- asians colorful wearing people with no sense of fashion and loud, bimbos who are branded but brainless yet huge idol for some people like Paris Hilton—as the matter of fact, every human now trying to make a statement of themselves that they are so good and worth it but just to remind, we came from the pile of shit and God left us to perish.


The conversation went up till here as my buddy got so sleepy having nuisance chat with me throughout the night. I was instead overwhelmed with the idea and find the whole main point of the story—when you feel shitty, you feel everyone and everything is shitty as well and you are part of those useless unwanted feces that you wish not to exist and deal with yourself and the rest. Maybe after completing this whole theory (it is not even rhetorical at first place, maybe some humming), you; the readers may find that I, the writer is pretty wracked up to her brain. Don’t judge the books by its cover and don’t start judging, as you may not sound sane to me or the rest as well. Suck it up!